So far in my blog I have shared our Full Time EC journey with our first child. Now that we have two, I really wanted to document how things are going the second time around.
First off, there is much less time! I had virtually all the time in the world with my first to sit and study cues, and potty when needed. Now, I have a 3 month old and an almost 3 year old to keep me busy with a neverending supply of needs and wants to tend. Some days it feels like all I get accomplished in a day is cleaning little potties, nursing the baby, and feeding the toddler. But then again, my little is only 14 weeks at this juncture. I think that is how all moms feel with a newborn in tow.
I must say this time around I have had to be much more relaxed with my EC practices. For my own sanity and my entire family.
I remember with my first, I offered constantly. My new babe still gets full time opportunities, but I find myself cueing her in her diaper much more than my first. I want her to know I care and understand that she is indeed going, but when I’m in the middle of tending to my toddlers detailed need or my almost burning dinner it has to happen every once in awhile.
There will be diapers.
Or prefolds in my case to wash. I think we may burn thru more diapers than a typical diapering parent would. Right now we are doing prefold and cover laundry every other day. We have a little under 2 dozen prefolds in rotation and a handfull of covers. I try to look at this as a good sign. I’m catching over 50% of pee and about 80% of poo at this leg in the journey. We are also just getting to know each other really.
Kids pee alot.
If you EC, you quickly realize how much a kid really goes. I did the math with my daughter; Every other day washing I’m at 12 prefolds a day. I also catch about 50% of pee so 12 more for pee and at least 2-3 bowel movements a day. Now mind you most “misses” with our prefold laundry are small bits of dribble and then we go on to catch more when I take it off to change. So my child is going around 12-15 times a day or more!
You can’t just not EC the second child.
No matter how much you have a bad EC day and swear you are done with it, lets face the facts. You can’t bear the thought of your child sitting or sleeping in a pee filled or crappy diaper now. It literally pains you to know they went and not do anything about it. I know. I tried to take a day and not practice and it drove me crazier than removing a prefold numerous times a day to place my little baby over a bowl. You also most likely know from your first experience that it works. Your children listen and communicate if you are mindful to listen and watch as well.
Go with the flow
No pun intended. I have learned with two comes misses. You can’t do it all at the same time. Especially this early on with a little. We have had moments where I have been using my toddlers potty insert for the little and my ninja toddler happens to sit down on the potty missing the insert and pees without me noticing until I see a puddle on the tile floor once she stands up. Mom brain at one of its finest moments.
Lesson learned there my friends.
As much as I would love to say 100% of the time my toddler is miss free I would be lying. I would be lying if I said I never accidentally peed when I sneeze just the wrong way too. Most of our mild issues with the toddler would stem from the attention my youngest was getting when we had a miss. Our 2 year old started saying she was peeing in her pants. Typically a little tiny dot of pee, but this had not been happening and then started up a few weeks after her little sister was born. We have decided to be the crazy potty people and have them everywhere so they are always available. She often gets distracted if she is really into playing and will pee in her underwear. Someday I will no longer have to consider the color of an infant potty because it will no longer be a permanent fixture in or living room. But until then I will thank Baby BJorn for the gray potty chair.
Communication is good.
Even If you can’t dedicate as much time as you would like to, any communication is better than none. Keeping up dialect about eliminating and being there when you can to help. When you cannot, you make an effort to cue so that your child grows aware of the sensations meaning something. At the end of the day,no matter how bad it has been, I am always happy that I at least gave what I could to my children to communicate another need they have.
Be gentle with yourself.
I am writing this to you as much as I am myself. Always remember to be gentle with your own feelings and needs as well. It takes time and dedication to be hyper aware of your child’s cues sometimes. It’s totally ok to step back and take a pause or break for a little while. Some days are rough and I just have to surrender my expectations for an evening to gain clarity and remember why it is that I’m doing this EC thing. Let’s face it. In the beginning we are just getting to know each other. It takes time to communicate.